Life Preserving Promises

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. ~Isaiah 43:2

This biblical text is a reference to one of the promises that God gave to His people as a comfort to them during the time of their Babylonian captivity. We can see this theme of God speaking comfort to His people in chapters 40-48, and how His promises in this chapter are reflective of their deliverance from Babylon. A lot more could be shared about all that, but the point that I would like to focus and elaborate more on is the life preserving aspects to His promises. You can see it in this promise. When you look at the actual definition of the word preservation, in the 1828 Websters, it is defined as, "Keeping safe from injury, destruction or decay; defending from evil." I find comfort in the fact that God defends us when it comes to evil. I have encountered Him defending me, more numerous times than I can count.

HIS PERSONAL PROMISE

When I was seven or eight years old He communicated a promise to me. I didn't know it was a promise from Him, at that time, because I did not know Him when I was that old. When you are so deeply indoctrinated by man-made religious ideals, it's those things that consume your thinking, shape your worldview, and it becomes hard to hear God speak about anything. Those stuck in closed religious groups learn to believe the things they are being told about god, instead of discovering the truth for themselves and get to know Him personally. It was a miracle that I came to know Him personally, right before I left. As a child, God was not someone that I would say I revered or even had a desire to know. That desire grew in my late teen years once I developed an awareness that He wasn’t who I was taught He was. The god I had envisioned as a child was a dictator who watched for every opportunity to strike me in his vengeance when I made a mistake, so naturally, I avoided thinking about Him at all.

HE CARES FOR THE OPPRESSED

We can see through out scripture how He cares for the oppressed and encourages us to do the same. I can see His sovereignty in the way He tried to pursue me and defend me, as a young child stuck in intense traumatic conditions. This promise came to me in the form of an impression; like an image in my mind, and I remember the exact room and place I was standing when that impression came across my mind. I believe this promise was an attempt to offer me comfort and help me see that He had a future for me where I could live free from the oppression that completely surrounded me.

The promise as I can articulate it, was that I would one day live many miles away from where I grew up and there would be a man in my life that truly loved and cared for me. I had learned by then that anything that differed from what I was taught and indoctrinated in, held costly and painful consequences. The idea that I would not be part of that community looked impossible to me at eight years old, yet while my mind dismissed the thought, I believe there was a part of me that secretly held onto it. My future in many ways was defined for me, and carried this finality and futility about it. The expectations and rules on how you were supposed to live created this stifling box of oppression with no hope or way of escape. I was taught that if you were born Amish you had to stay that way for the rest of your life. If god would have wanted you to be anything else you would have been born into something different. So to leave was to directly disobey and go against this god. To go against this god meant that you were a terrible, rebellious and evil person. Spiritual abuse was such a web of darkness, woven into the fabric and core of beliefs I was being taught and indoctrinated in.

To tell anyone about this promise at the time, would have been to endure emotional abuse by being told it was all in my head, from the devil and I was being delusional. So I learned not to tell, and keep those things to myself. It is amazing how certain things I didn't tell, started sustaining and preserving my life. They were life giving seeds that God was imparting to me to sustain me at a very young age. If I would have told, they would have been minimized, shot down, and I would have most likely succumbed to fear and stopped secretly holding onto them with the hope they could someday come true.

At different times, through out my healing journey, I would ask God, where were you and why didn’t you do something??? I never got any direct answers from Him but the more I have healed the more I have been able to see more clearly the many ways He was with me and the many ways He preserved my life and fought off my enemies in ways I couldn’t see at the time. I did develop some pretty strong self preservation instincts, but even those were weaponized and often used against me, intensifying the barrage of evil that sought to snuff out the life God was intentionally trying to impart to me.

HE ALWAYS FULFILLS HIS PROMISES

I am happy to report that He fulfilled His promise. I crossed a lot of hurdles before I saw it fulfilled, but he never gave up on me, and that part of me never gave up believing it. I don't know of anyone as faithful as He is, even when we aren't. He kept that promise and fulfilled it in spite of all the detours I took, trying to find my own way. I still live over a 1000 miles away from the community and I found that man, my husband, who has been partnering with me, and has been such an influential aspect of my healing journey.

The healing journey started soon after we got married, and was incredibly intense at first. My husband has endured many difficult seasons with me, and I have endured many with him too. We haven't had a perfect marriage, but we have learned how to endure, love, and support each other as we heal together. Becoming a safe place where we can make mistakes has been helpful in growing in our understanding and compassion toward one another. I am grateful for our marriage and the life preserving promises God has given me, him and given to us together.

What life preserving promises has He given to you? In what ways has He preserved your life? In what ways has He defended you and preserved your life from being destroyed by evil?