Getting Through Your Personal Gethsemane

Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder. And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me. ~ Matthew 26:36-46 (KJV)

Gethsemane -The “Crushing Place”

I came across a message about getting through your own personal Gethsemane by a man named Dr. Maurice Watson, during a very difficult season of my life. This message lit a flame in my heart, that grew as a flicker of light, that helped see me through a very dark night of the soul. There are several truths I learned from him that helped me come to terms with the reality and the fact that I was dealing with my own personal season of Gethsemane. There is a lot of grief, sorrow, and suffering in Gethsemane, and it's a place we naturally seek to avoid and run from, however there are times when our trials can catapult and lead us into a place that is synonymous to a Gethsemane experience for a season, where we find ourselves having to deal with things that cause our souls great anguish. When we persevere and come through these trials, we are often changed, transformed and in a better place than before, if we hold fast to the Lord and our faith in Him. The word Gethsemane in Hebrew, actually means, "Oil Press." The garden of Gethsemane was an actual place across the Kidron Valley, on the Mount of Olives, with olive trees and a press where the oil from the olives were pressed and crushed in order to extract their oil. I don’t think it was a coincidence that this was the place that Jesus chose to retreat to, to pray during His difficult hour, before He faced the cross. It is very symbolic for what He was going through.

Art painted by : Ni Ketut Ayu Sri Wardani, "Hatiku Sangat Sedih" 2002

Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane

In the scriptures I referenced above, we see Jesus's account for when He entered the Garden of Gethsemane and how He invited three of those in His inner circle, to come deeper into the garden with Him, to pray and be watchful with Him, for He knew that the hour of His arrest, torture and betrayal was drawing near. Three times, after praying in the inner part of the garden by Himself, He would leave, and return to where his disciples were, only to find them asleep. While Jesus understood that the Spirit in them was willing and their flesh was weak, one can see how important prayer for Him by those near Him was, during His difficult hour. We have the same desire and need for prayer support during our difficult seasons, so that we too can be able to acquire the strength needed to endure through the intensity. 

We can see that when He entered into the deeper places of the garden He always did so alone, which is symbolic of the solitude we will also experience during this time. Solitude is a place where your dependency upon Jesus deepens and your faith is strengthened. No one can really know the depth of the sorrow you personally carry during this season, except the Lord, and it's something that only you can carry with the help, strength and grace that is extended to you, by Him through the power of His Spirit at work in you. People can empathize, relate to a degree, have compassion, support and pray for you, but you must still be able to bear your own personal cross, and bear the crushing that is taking place within you.

The prophet Isaiah in 53:3,said of Jesus, that He was despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and pain and acquainted with grief: and like One from whom men hide their faces, He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or esteem Him. (AMP version) When you walk through your own personal season of Gethsemane there may be those that will despise you, and you will have to face things you don't want to face. You will have to walk through tough things that you will not want to walk through, and learn how to get through the hard, that you wouldn’t have chosen to walk through. You will have to choose whether to follow man or follow the will of God, for your life. You can run from this inner crushing, try and hide from it, but it will stunt your own personal growth and transformation, the longer you resist it. Everyone has been given a personal destiny and purpose that God called them to fulfill, however in order to fulfill the will of God for your life there will always be painful experiences and events you will face and walk through in order to get to the destination that God has ordained for you.

Wrong Thinking About Suffering

I think it is important to highlight the context and make a distinction here, because there is some faulty theological thinking surrounding suffering. The faulty thinking I am referring to is where people think they are suffering for Jesus, by enabling and just going along with the sin and wrong doing of others. This Gethsemane type of suffering is for a greater good, not for the purpose of destroying and bringing harm to you or others. While Jesus encountered abuse, accusation, slander, betrayal and torture, He never condoned those things, was never the source of them, and never blamed Himself for the actions of others. While He forgave His abusers, He didn't invite them to an intimate fellowship with Himself. He only invited a small number of his disciples into that place of deeper solitude with Him, in the garden. Jesus didn’t have a big inner circle, and fellowship with those in your inner circle is a mutual association of persons on equal and friendly terms. Not everyone is going to be able to walk with you when you walk through such a season. While the overall source of suffering comes from sin, and the fallen state of humanity, we can be like Jesus, and NOT condone it, in others or ourselves. We don't need to go along with wrong behavior, by believing we are suffering for Jesus, in passively enabling it. There are things that are beyond our control, and we aren't always enabling when we can't do anything in our own strength to change the wrong behavior in others. We can only control our own wrong behavior. However, we can always choose to respond in a way that fights for, influences toward, and encourages  righteousness, according to how the Spirit of God leads us. One of the greatest liberties as a believer is to choose not to sin, but when we do, we can be quick to turn away from it, where repentance becomes a lifestyle. Jesus is often blamed for things that are not His fault. We can also be blamed for things that are not our fault, especially if we have been groomed as a scapegoat. Scapegoats tend to blame themselves for the responsibility that belongs to the one exhibiting the sin or wrong behavior. 

Examples of Trials

Some examples of trials that might catapult you into a Gethsemane season, could be the suffering that comes to us, that is out of our control. It might be the betrayal of your trust by a friend, recovering from trauma and abuse, rejection or betrayal from family, loneliness of life, financial despair, or a righteous decision you make, that costs you. If we look at the suffering on the cross through the lens of our natural mind, we will not be able to fully comprehend or understand it according to the full reality of the truth. In 1 Cor. 2:14- Paul tells us how the natural man can not receive spiritual truths from God, and how they are foolishness to them because the spiritual things of God can only be spiritually discerned. The cross was a way for Jesus (who willingly gave his life), to bridge the gap, so that a relationship between man and God could once again be possible. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden they created a breach and barrier in relation to God, by yielding to the seduction of the serpent in the garden, giving evil, leverage over mankind. Jesus took that leverage back, and overcame through the cross and resurrection, so that we can connect again with God, through Jesus, and receive everything He has for us. In Hebrews 12:2, it makes reference to the "joy that was set before Jesus, who endured the cross," and from a natural standpoint there was nothing glorious or joyful in the cross itself, but this scripture indicates where Jesus's perspective was. His perspective was eternal. He was able to endure through the suffering, because of the supernatural strength given to Him by His Father, and by keeping his focus on the prize that would come after the cross, which was a way of salvation for mankind, and so much more. In the same way for those that belong to Him, we don’t grieve or suffer as those with no hope. Our pain is never in vain, but can be something that catapults us to newer heights of growth. God still actively heals, redeems, and restores , bringing beauty from ashes. We too can overcome evil, and walk in the power of His resurrection, and are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us.

Jesus's Humanity

Jesus reveals His humanity and divinity during His account in Gethsemane. In looking at his humanity in verse thirty-seven, we can read that, "Jesus's soul became exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death." In the NKJV, it says that he was deeply distressed, while the KJV uses the term heavy. That word distressed in the Greek means depressed. In other words Jesus was communicating that He was in such deep anguish that he felt depressed to the point where He felt like He wanted to die. I appreciate Jesus's honesty here, in sharing how He really felt. Often times, we may not have any words to describe our own anguish, while we are in the midst of it, and we might want to minimize or hide when we are going through something that causes us to fall into depression. We might be afraid of being labeled crazy or care too much about what other people will think of us. I think if we are honest, we have all, at some point in our lives struggled with depression to a degree and worried too much about the opinions of others. However, learning to live free and not controlled by the opinions of men, is liberating and enlightening, and gives us the freedom to walk with God and follow Him, wherever HIS will leads us. 

Our True Place of Home

  It is important to note that Jesus wasn’t depressed because He was afraid to die. He was depressed because He literally carried the weight and sins of all mankind on His shoulders, and He began to sense a separation developing between Him and His Father. I didn’t know this until I heard the message I listened to, that the prefix "dis" in the word distress, in the Greek actually means "to be away from home." In other words, Jesus was uncomfortable in this place where he was being separated from His Father, as He carried the weight of our sin. Sin will always separate us from God. His "true home" was in being connected to His Father. It was where He belonged, found life, security and identity. It obliterates the idea that we can find our true source of identity and belonging anywhere else, apart from Him. In the same way Jesus was at home within His connection to the Father, it is also where our "true home" is. Through out the gospels Jesus often spoke of His connection and the oneness He had with His Father. In John 17, Jesus expresses His desire for those who belong to Him, to also be one with the Father and each other, as He is one with His Father. It is that intimate connection with Him that we were created for.

While depression has been taboo in Christian circles, I have found it to be beneficial, NOT to deny or hide the reality of the grief, but learn to find the balance between embracing it and surrendering it to the Lord at the same time. Suppressing and hiding things in our soul tends to stunt our growth. Sometimes grief can show up as anger. Having an awareness of this can help to understand when there is deeper grief and sorrow burrowed in the soul. Learning practical ways to release this grief can have great benefits to our health, and life in general. It is imperative to learn how to express, deal, and release grief, so the anger dissipates. I know what it can be like to have what feels like unbearable anguish in my soul. When I have found myself in this state, I will spend time in God's presence, read His word, implement a physical exercise, talk to a safe person, and find constructive ways to release and deal with the anguish. God's presence offers us His strength, His compassion and tenderness and He always receives those with humble and contrite hearts. Jesus was well acquainted with suffering. Your not weird because you might suffer from depression. Jesus cried out three times, during his anguish and suffering, asking God if there was any other way to accomplish His will, but resolved in His own heart that if there was no other way, He would face it, and go through it. In the same way, when our circumstances don’t change, God is able to lead us through the fire, and gives us peace and everything we need to endure, through it.

The Gift of Surrender

The Webster's defines surrender as "the act, of yielding or resigning one's person or the possession of something, into the power of another." Gethsemane is a place where we learn how to surrender our will to the Father's good will for our lives. Surrender in itself, is not difficult, what is difficult, is all the resistance and fight in our flesh that we must get past, in order for us to come into that place where we become WILLING to surrender. Surrender is a choice and allows us to come into a place of rest, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. When we resolve to release ourselves and those things we have no control over, to the Lord, we can come into peace within ourselves, and with our difficult circumstances, even when they don’t change the way we want them to. I want to insert a disclaimer here, and say I am referring to circumstances here that don't warrant the need for finding safety from dangerous and life threatening situations. Those are circumstances that would require immediate action.

Surrender includes being honest with yourself and with the Lord, about the current state you find yourself in. I think, it is a relief not to put on a face for the Lord, as He already knows everything about the state and condition of our soul. I have found that it helps me to be able to communicate the difficult realities I face, to Him. I feel comfortable doing this because I know nothing is too much for Him, or too big for Him to deal with. In doing this, there is often an exchange that takes place. When I surrender and give things to Him, He gives me revelation and a different perspective, helping me see something good that I would never have seen before. His perspective is always higher and for our greater good, and filled with hope.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Anguish, sorrow, grief and solitude are all unique to a personal Gethsemane experience. For a believer in Jesus, every trial can become an opportunity to grow deeper  in your relationship and walk with Him, where we can see Him work in and through our lives in a unique and personal way. It can be a time where we encounter the demonstration of His compassion, strength and power. Paul said when He was weak then He was strong. Alongside that we can also learn new things about ourselves, grow and change, and come through these seasons more mature, and in a more renewed and strengthened place than before. Our transformation matters. Only God knows what each one of us needs to experience and learn in order to become more "conformed to the image of His Son, Jesus."  The hope we can cling to as those who belong to Christ, is that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)  If we don't lose heart, and our hope in Christ, we will receive and reap the rewards of our suffering, if not in this life, then in eternity. While the suffering from our trials break us and change us, God heals and mends our brokenness. Not only does He mend and heal our wounds, there is room being created in us that enlarges our capacity to carry the oil (anointing) that comes out of the "oil press" of our own season of "crushing". This is the oil God will use to break the yokes of oppression and bondage in others. In Christ, we can always find the courage and strength to press on and press forward. As for the scars we bear, they are reminders of the battles Christ helped us win, and become shiny reflections of His light and beauty within us. The ability God has to bring beauty out of ashes, is both a miracle and a mystery, that continues to give me a sense of awe and wonder about the true goodness within Christ. May God bless you. Selah.