Freedom from a Religious Mindset

In my last article called, “ Identifying Religious Systems of Abuse” I highlighted a connection between religious systems of abuse and the mindsets that the Pharisees embodied. I am going to expound a little more in this article on the specific attitudes that form a fixed religious mindset, the seductive aspects of it, and more specifics on how Jesus helped me learn to become free from the indoctrination of it all. If you haven't read that article, it might be helpful to go back and read it before reading this one. A fixed religious mindset influences people's hearts, thoughts and behaviors that create habitual patterns of unhealthy relating. By the time I am finished with this article I hope to be able to convey some of the ways the formation of this fixed mindset can permeate, and distort a person’s identity. I think it’s impossible to grow up in a false religious system and not be impacted and indoctrinated by their false beliefs in some capacity. It can leave many difficult implications in your life, that you are left to figure out how to deal with and change, in order to heal and find freedom. While I often felt alone, Jesus became the One, I learned to turn to, to help me navigate all the messy and murky terrains, and it was the personal encounters with Him that always brought lasting change, healing, and freedom.

I know firsthand, how deeply permeating and stifling it is to be formed by a religious mindset, and how deeply it can feel woven into the core and fabric of your person, becoming everything that feels comfortable and familiar, creating this sense of security with it. A fixed religious mindset creates a lens that you see through that alters your perception and how you perceive everything else in life. I used to perceive that everything outside of its confined parameters was a threat, unsafe, and dangerous, and that was one way I became united with the indoctrination and deception of it all. The real danger is actually in staying controlled and locked up in the web it creates around you, with all it's false beliefs, attitudes, demands and lies. Many false religious groups push this narrative, and embellish on the idea that they are the only ones with all the truth or whatever benefits they deem exist in their group, in order to make their group appear safe, superior and something others will want to stay connected to. Everyone outside their group is unsafe and hell bound, which is a typical idea that is taught in false religious groups and cults. There is an us vs. them concept that they create, in order to gain and maintain control. The problem with this us vs them concept is that it allows no room for anyone else to come in unless they follow X, Y, Z rules in the group, and compromise their own personal identity. This is so opposite from Jesus and His kingdom. He supports and gives you your own personal identity and value, and then helps you grow and become more united with who He has created you to be and become. Whenever you see groups that promote ideas that create a sense of exclusivity it should raise a red flag. It can often be a ploy to create fear in people, so they will stay connected and controlled by the group.

AUTHORITARIAN STRUCTURE

There are a lot of attitudes that can accompany a fixed religious mindset that can feel repulsive. There is a lot of stigma behind the association with any type of religious mindset today because of the repulsive nature of it. As repulsive as it is, there are people still trapped within its clutches that didn't necessarily choose it, but were born and indoctrinated by it, while very young, and it’s those people who need to know there is a way out, and that complete freedom is still possible. So, before I present some of these attitudes please remember that as repulsive as they are, not everyone that may be in bondage to one or more of these attitudes means that they are stuck in a fixed religious mindset. Sometimes we can be quick to label people, without considering how God views or sees them and without knowing the entirety of their combined experiences along with the trauma that they may still be actively healing from. So please, don’t use these points I list, as weapons or ammunition to use to label others with, but as educational for yourself and your own learning.

In many religious groups we see an authoritarian structure of authority. This authority structure embodies repulsive attitudes that grow into stationary fortresses over people’s minds that keeps them imprisoned to how they view God, themselves, and others. It also helps them develop habits of relating that are harmful to themselves and others. Where ever you find authoritarianism you often find abuse as the two are often closely linked together. This is not an exhaustive list but some of the main attitudes in a fixed religious mindset are; an attitude of pride and arrogance, self righteousness, accusation, harsh judgmentalism, punishment, competition with envy and jealousy, very critical, mockery, sexual perversions, and an entitlement attitude where harmful patterns of behaviors are either; minimized, justified or ignored by being hidden and swept under the rug. You’ll see a level of legalism to rules, laws or formulas they adopt that replaces having any relational connection with Christ. Instead of intimately connecting with Christ there is this idea that they know Christ by faithfully abiding and maintaining an alliance to their traditional beliefs and their way of doing things. So while they profess to know all these things about God, they never really come to know His nature and His heart regarding things. I have seen where those that are struggling with sinful abusive behaviors, be given a free pass as long as they remain faithful to the rules and ways of the group. This is why there is so much hypocrisy and darkness.

When favor is given by authoritarian leaders to those who seek to keep and hide their abusive sinful behaviors, it becomes a breeding ground for the tolerance of all kinds of darkness and evil. Not only are these leaders giving free passes, they become accomplices in helping people hide and cover things up. Hiding and putting on a beautiful façade is part of the seductive side of a religious mindset. In order to gain any favor with leaders in groups with this authoritarian structure, people either have to become willing to compromise themselves constantly or receive harsh treatment. They demand blind obedience, in order to maintain control over the followers. They control people in order to protect their own image and the image of their group. The image becomes the idol that they serve, and it’s no big feat to see authoritarian leaders justify partnering with evil of all kinds in order to achieve their own desired end, which is to protect their idols at all costs.

Abiding in and taking on these harmful attitudes and beliefs, is another aspect of the indoctrination. The toxicity from the patterns of relating that are adopted through these indoctrinating ideas and attitudes can feel both riveting and all consuming, after physically coming out of a false religious system or cult. Being set free from these attitudes and developing more healthy ones along with more healthy relational skills becomes pertinent to your own healing and freedom. Fear, people pleasing, and false guilt worked together like super glue to keep me stuck inside this unhealthy, caged existence. In my own experience, fear would often feel so emotionally stifling, to the point where my mind could no longer think complete thoughts. It often scrambled my thoughts with such confusion until I would feel like giving up. This type of mind control was intended to cause me to stop exercising my own will, until I was rendered completely passive. When you're rendered this passive it becomes increasingly more difficult to exercise your own will in order to make healthy decisions and create any healthy boundaries with oneself and others. This is often perceived as a place of self denial but all it does is cause you to lose sight of any sense of self, which paralyzes you from being able to walk in your own identity. We can’t exercise self denial by losing our sense of self. Self denial can’t be self denial unless a person can freely exercise their own will and freely be allowed to choose to exercise restraint, of their own volition, without fear, guilt, etc. The ability to exercise restraint and practice self denial comes from a place where you clearly know who you are, and walk in the confidence of the Lord and who He created you to be. There are a lot of twisted versions of self denial being taught in false religious groups today. People are shamed and punished for not paying allegiance to this oppressive authority structure and it’s abuse of power that justifies, hides, and allows all kinds of abuse to thrive. When you refuse to follow their demands you are often considered a threat, labeled rebellious, and all kinds of accusations can be brought against you.

Like I mentioned when people come out of a religious system like this, it can be quite overwhelming. They have all the after effects of the abuse, indoctrination of all the false beliefs and attitudes, and a false identity that found its security from living passively dependent on the people inside the group. Taking the time and devoting oneself to the work it takes to become healed and unshackled from all the ways you were indoctrinated is not easy, but it’s so worth it, in order to get free, and figure out who you really are. It's a work that requires some resilience, grit and endurance.

SEDUCTION BEHIND FALSE RELIGIONS

I recently attended a homestead fair that is put on every year in Texas, by an exclusive religious group. The group functions like a cult. While I was at this fair, I began to see more clearly the general seductive nature associated with false religious groups. This particular group was deeply invested in homesteading, and developed a self-sufficient lifestyle that was characterized by agriculture, food preservation, making their own textiles, clothing, crafts, etc. There were many things about their lifestyle that was fascinating and interesting. I could see some similarities to the community I grew up in, especially with how their lifestyles work interchangeably to provide for the monetary needs people have and how the lifestyle contributes to the formation of shared commonalities. It's through those shared commonalities that alliances are established in order to control, manipulate and seduce individuals.

There is this sense of togetherness that these groups cultivate where everyone dresses the same, thinks the same, holds to the same beliefs, cultivates the same desires, lives the same lifestyle ( in their case it was on homesteading and living off the land). Abiding in all this sameness provides a level of emotional security and a sense of belonging. Having this emotional security becomes dependent upon you continuing to compromise your own individuality and personal identity. Your entire identity becomes wrapped up in all the same ness inside the group, in order to keep and maintain that sense of emotional security and belonging. My husband told me he saw this tradeoff that happens in people, where they settle for compromising themselves and their own identity, in order to be part of the lifestyle which secures their emotional security, and to keep this sense of belonging inside the community. Uniting around their lifestyle develops a sense of togetherness but its conformity and uniformity, instead of a true sense of oneness and unity. The conditioning starts at a very early age for those growing up in communities like these. I can tell you firsthand, that even though there was a lot of activities that helped promote a sense of togetherness, there was not a lot of healthy heart level connections within the confines of such outward displays of togetherness in the community I was raised in. There was a lot of inner fighting, backbiting, conflict and then hiding from it all, in order to appear harmonious and peaceful to outsiders, and other families in the community.

While the lifestyle and all the monetary benefits it brings are not bad in and of itself, its being used by false religious groups to exploit, and seduce individuals by drawing them into secluded places, where darkness and evil reside, but is covered up. As I observed this community that put on the fair; from the outside they had many fascinating traits and I can see how people could get caught up in the fascination of it all and want to become a part of something like that. They have some admirable character traits through their disciplined work ethic and ability to produce and be productive. Our natural bent is to be drawn to beauty and productivity. We were created to enjoy beauty, and a level of productivity can give us a sense of purpose. Even though they behold many practices that are fascinating and appealing, we must remember that it doesn’t portray the whole picture. Evil doesn’t readily show up with pitchforks and horns, but disguises itself as an angel of light in order to seduce you, and hoodwink you. If it would be obvious, then it would be much more difficult to entice people to unite, grow, bond and partner with evil. I hate seeing people fooled, deceived, used and beaten down by something that disguises itself to be something good and wholesome, but turns out to be nothing but a facade that was used to lure and entrap them. Nothing stirs up righteous anger in me then that. False religions present themselves as safe spaces, that can meet the emotional and monetary needs of people, when the reality is that they indoctrinate, brainwash, control, manipulate, abuse and condition people to believe that by relinquishing control of their own individuality and identity, they are doing what God wants them to. This is why it is so difficult for people coming out of these groups to start learning how to establish any healthy boundaries. They weren’t supported to maintain their own sense of self, individuality and personal identity, which empowers and equips them to exercise their free wills, and to make healthy choices. Instead, they were conditioned to take on the identity of others, through an unhealthy dependence on others in the group, through all the sameness.

The indoctrination can run so deep where being caught up in all the sameness is the only familiar place people feel any security, after they leave, that they try to recreate it themselves. The natural tendency is to re create that sameness in new relationships after coming out of false religious groups in order to gain back that sense of security. It may feel incredibly scary to step out of that sameness and the false comfort it provided, but its what needs to happen in order to come into our own identity and freedom. It will feel uncomfortable, risky, and even unsafe at times, but in my own experience that was where Jesus became my all in all, and I got to know His heart more intimately, and where He showed Himself faithful to me over and over again. When I stepped out He was always there to meet me, releasing me from any fear, and giving me new thoughts and attitudes to replace the fixed religious mindset that I was indoctrinated with.

We were all created to be connected with people, to be known and loved, it’s not a bad thing to be part of a healthy community, but this took on levels of sameness that had nothing to do with the kingdom of God, but everything to do with erected kingdoms of men and darkness. In groups like this you will have many unspoken rules that those inside have learned, and outsiders wouldn’t know existed. These unspoken rules and following the many other rules they have are what solidifies all this sameness, and is not reflective of true unity or oneness, these groups try to have. They are uniting around the ideals that maintain their togetherness within the group, but the underlying seduction to achieve this goal is not coming from the heart and mind of Jesus. All the attitudes combined, that support a fixed religious mindset DO NOT represent the heart, character and nature of Jesus.

After I left the exclusive religious group I grew up in, I noticed a reoccurring trend in my life that began to develop where I kept getting drawn back into different false religious groups, many which were unhealthy churches. When you look at the word "seductive" in the Old Websters, it simply means to lead astray or to mislead by flattering appearances. Whenever we normally think of seduction we might think of the more obvious association with sexual seduction, but this type of seduction I am referring to is very subtle, and not sexual in nature at all, but very manipulative in nature, in a stealthy type of way. The seduction behind a religious mindset can also work like a super glue that keeps people living under this facade where they can’t be honest, genuine and authentic with themselves and others.

The last group I got drawn into was the experience that became, “ the final straw that broke the camels back” so to speak, and I began to examine the seductive nature in cults, and religious groups, in order to grow in more discernment and to quit being seduced and drawn in by them. At the time, there was still clearly a mixture of the previous indoctrination that I was vulnerable to that kept influencing my decisions, and being the teachable person that I am, I wanted to learn what those things were. This last group was probably the most seductive and twisted one that I ever encountered. It looked inviting at first glance, and appealed to the many relational struggles all of us can be faced with in life. This group offered spiritual teachings and solutions to relational issues, however, I began to see how even that worked as a form of seduction that exploited the areas of vulnerability in people, in order to draw them into an unhealthy dependence on the leader of the group. Just because a group has a measure of truth doesn’t mean the overall group is healthy and is internally reflecting the heart and overall nature and character of Jesus.

MY TESTIMONY

Freedom and healing are often linked together. The more healing I walk in the more free I become. I remember looking for healing and freedom everywhere but in my relationship with Jesus, always looking for a quick and easy solution, but I discovered that it didn't exist. I went to therapy for years, which helped, however I got caught up with many other things in an attempt to speed up and find my own healing and then would find myself stuck and needing more healing from the things I was turning to in my own strength and way. I seemed to exhaust all my options, before I became ready to turn to Jesus for everything. I began cultivating a close relationship with Him, after I began to learn how to trust Him with all the repercussions and after effects of the abuse. This took some time. Every time I encountered Him and His tenderness toward me, I became more open with Him. I remember in the early years of getting to know Him, He would invite me to come and face the hard things and I would say no, when I wasn’t ready, and he would still continue to pursue and reveal His tenderness and love to me. It would always surprise me because I was expecting Him to treat me the same way I was treated inside the religious community I grew up in. If you didn't do X,Y and Z you received some kind of punishment, harsh treatment or were accused and portrayed as an enemy. He didn’t treat me like an authoritarian, which is what I grew up believing He was like, because that was all I knew. Over time, the more open I became with Him, the more truth I was able to take in and walk in, and the more healing that would come. The more healing that would come the more of my identity I could embrace and walk in with confidence, and the more freedom I began to walk in. Today, I am so grateful for the way He kept pursuing my heart until I was able to trust Him. He has always been faithful and has suffered long with me, and He alone holds my deepest reverence, awe and respect.

I hope this encourages those of you that may have been taken captive by a fixed religious mindset at some point in your own life. Never allow it to have the final say in defining who you are and keep you from discovering your true identity, in Christ. Selah.