Finding Joy In Purification Process Friday, July 8, 2022 8:19 AM

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. 1 John 3:1-3

Soon after I first moved to Dallas, I started taking this membership course at this church. At the end, I was part of a presbytery where several leaders prayed with those who finished the course and prophesied over them. I received a very encouraging message from one of the ladies that prayed for me.

The message that she shared with me reflected God's desire: He wanted me to know His heart and to receive of Him and His transformative work of purification. The purification process helps us more readily see the nature of who He is and it helps us grow in reflecting the image and character of His nature to others. My flesh was in direct opposition to this idea and it was an intense struggle in the beginning. I discovered that this work would happen naturally as I focused on surrendering to His Spirit, and not on what I could control and make happen in my own strength. Not only could I not make it happen, I couldn't determine a point of completion for it, as it is an ongoing work. It wasn't just learning to surrender to this work but also surrendering my expectations I had that would dictate the how's, when and the length of time of this work. I could observe my own levels of growth and maturity; and in examining this, it often helped encourage me to keep enduring, when things got hard.

The Lord's heart is always turned toward those who walk in humility,and are honest with themselves and Himself, regardless of what may be going on in their hearts. It is not what is in our hearts that disqualifies us, but how we choose to deal with what is in our hearts once we recognize the issues we have. Even though God desires our obedience to this work, He never demands it. He is never coercive and never uses force. The pressure from making choices that are resistant to this process can intensify things, but it is never because He is trying to coerce us. Obedience that is willingly derived from a place of love and intimacy with Him, is pleasing to Him.

Conformity that comes from a place of fear and coercion, produces a sense of obligation, duty and performance and doesn't please Him at all. Conformity is independent from any relational connection with Him, and is often motivated by our own knowledge of who we think God is and what we can do in our own strength to impress Him, apart from Him.

One thing that helped me identify this inner work was when I began to see how the Holy Spirit pinpoints things He is wanting me to look at, by bringing them repeatedly to mind. Even if those things tend to have a negative ring to them, I have learned to examine and process hard things with Him and those close to me, who I trust. I think this is important in learning how to distinguish the difference between the work He is doing in our heart and what is considered a spiritual attack. I have seen where many "Christians" avoid any negative thought and blame it on an attack from the devil, and in that they are missing out on discovering truths about themselves, that would help heal and liberate them.

Through repeated thoughts and dreams, the Holy Spirit will reveal the realities of my own heart. I may be believing certain lies regarding something that is harmful to myself or others, and He helps me find the courage to face and replace these lies with the truth, in order to grow more pure in heart. It is His kindness that leads us to repentance, that changes our minds and behaviors. We can try and change our outward behavior in our own strength but it doesn't change the inside of our hearts. There is no one that can change our hearts like the Holy Spirit can. Jesus often spoke in an eloquent way that exposed the realities of people's hearts to them. While he didn't do it to condemn, He wanted them to see what was going on in their own hearts, so they could see the truth and choose how they were going to respond and deal with it.

When this lady prayed for me she said she saw this flower and it was in a pod and it had it's head down, like a flower would, that is without water, and it's starving for water and sunlight. That flower represented where I was at in my walk with the Lord, at the time. Even though I knew Him and had been filled with His Spirit I was still very deeply broken and disconnected from His heart and my own heart. I carried a lot of un-dealt with chronic trauma, and during that time was navigating a very traumatic situation. She said she saw the hand of God with a watering can and He began to water and pour out His blessings and Himself into that flower. And as He did, this flower began to blossom into this gorgeous sunflower and its face was turned toward Him. His reflection was in that face, and that face was mine, in the sunflower. It was through that intimate connection with Him, that I would eventually be able to connect with my own heart and discover my purpose and who I really was.

I learned over the years how the purification and healing process were interchangeable. I had locked away all the childhood trauma, thinking that out of sight, out of mind, would help me go on with life. I could have continued this way, but I wouldn’t have benefited from this new life that has come through the purification/healing process. I remember the day He showed me how He cannot heal anything I refuse to bring to the table and lay bare before Him, and He gave me the impression that He was waiting patiently for me with His arms extended toward me, waiting for my initiative to bring those barricaded, dark and painful places to Him.

I had trust issues and it took some time before l could trust Him. I resisted Him a lot in the beginning; yet He never pushed past my own will to coerce or pressure me. He would just show up in circumstances where I could see His favor extended toward me which helped me see that He sincerely cared. His love was pure without a hidden agenda. He proved Himself and revealed Himself to be trustworthy, instead of demanding it from me.

His endless pursuit and love helped me unlock and find healing from things I thought were impossible to heal. He helped restore my voice where trauma silenced and held me captive. For years, I ran away and denied all the pain and anguish. All the grief, loss, emotional pain, and pressure made me weary at times. I often questioned what the point was for all this pain and suffering and then I would be reminded of the fruit that the purification/healing process eventually produced, and I would carry on.

The purification/healing process is a work that I no longer resist, but have grown to appreciate and embrace with joy and thanksgiving. When healing and freedom started out- weighing the anguish, lies, and trauma, peace and confidence replaced them. The new life He brings has filled me with continued awe, curiosity and adventure. It's His life and the new life He has given me that I continue to live in and draw inspiration from daily.